I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the day after is always just damage control
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
