just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
