she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Is it because I queefed?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
