can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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