You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
