why do cheetos always look like penises
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
True college students do jello shots in the library
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
