Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
