I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
