these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
