I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
