My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
