When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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