I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
