And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
