am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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