Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm always down for nudity.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
