Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
