yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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