rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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