I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
