erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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