idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
