We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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