My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
