I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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