dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
And then he peed in my hair
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