brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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