we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
