Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize