end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
