Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
