Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize