Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
