ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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