Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
