then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
