After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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