i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
