we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
