dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
