I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
