someone get that fucking seahorse.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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