i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
