The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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