let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think people are normalizing furries
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
