My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
