the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
