Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
