Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
