jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
