I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
