im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
