So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
worst night to have a conscience
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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