; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
