If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
