That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
