I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize