Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
