Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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