i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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